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Baptisms, weddings and funerals MARKING LIFE'S TRANSITIONS Please feel free to ring the church office on (029) 2022 5190 at any time to make an appointment with the minister to discuss planning one of these services. Baptism and the Service of Thanksgiving for the Birth of a Child Baptism is the entry into the Christian household of faith, either as the child of a Christian family, or as an adult taking this step in an act of personal commitment. Children brought up in the faith are given an opportunity to confirm that faith for themselves when they are older. Baptism is an entry into the Christian life rather than a denominational affair, so it is inappropriate to be "re-baptised" when changing membership from one church to another, though times of recommitment are always appropriate. If you would like to enquire about becoming a Christian or about having your child baptised, please make an appointment with the minister. Baptisms in the Reformed tradition are acts of the whole church (the congregation takes vows alongside the one being baptised or the parents of the baptised), and is therefore celebrated during the Sunday morning worship, as an act of commitment following the sermon. Briefly, here are the vows you take as a parent at the baptism of your child:
THANKSGIVING FOR THE BIRTH OF A CHILD Families, both within the church and without often find they prefer the service for thanksgiving for the birth of a child, an act which looks forward to baptism some time in the future. As with baptism, the thanksgiving is celebrated after the sermon as an act of commitment. Here are the vows the parents will say:
When parents are not members the following question may be omitted:
If there are older children in the family the minister may include a suitable promise for them to make: If you wish to enquire about getting married at City United Reformed Church please make an appointment with the minister before booking a venue for the reception-- schedules are tight here, too! Once you have arranged a date, then you must register your marriage at the Cardiff Registry Office, Park Place (see what you need to do below). The minister will explain the basic procedures at the initial consultation, but, in brief, here is what happens: You will be invited to have several meetings with the minister before the wedding so that we can get to know one another better, discuss why you find the Christian way of life important for your marriage, explore further together what that way of life can contribute to your future journey together, and, of course, to plan the wedding. Since a wedding at City Church is not just something the minister does but an act of the church, if you are not already attending you will be encouraged to attend services as often as you are able to in the months leading up to the celebration, so that you and the congregation here can get to know one another better. A member of the Pastoral care Team will liaise with you as a representative of the congregation to help plan some particular items, like flowers and other arrangements. A wedding at City United Reformed Church is not a pre-packaged, off-the-shelf affair. You will be centrally involved in planning what we do on the day as part of your preparation for married life. The following wedding planner kit gives some of the resources you will use.
Read through these together, not all at once. Take your time. Think together about how the reading says something about your life, your commitments, your aspirations.Your thinking will become an important part of your consultations with the minister as you prepare for the wedding day. And think about who you might ask to do the reading. You can choose just one reading, or more. The traditional pattern for a full set of readings is an Old Testament reading, a Psalm, one of the “epistles” in the New Testament and one from the gospels. Hardly anyone chooses a full set like this for a wedding, though! Genesis 1.26-31 Genesis 2.18-24 Ruth 1.16-17 Song of Solomon
8.6-7 (sometimes called Song of Songs) Proverbs 3.3-6 Isaiah 54.5-6 Jeremiah 31.31-34 Psalm 67 Psalm 95.1-17 Psalm 100 Psalm 103.1-5,
15-18 Psalm 136.1-9,
26 Psalm 145 (Other appropriate psalms include Psalms 8, 117, 121, 128, 148, 150) Romans 12.1-2,
9-18 1 Corinthians
13.1-13 Ephesians
5.1-10 Colossians
3.12-17 Matthew 5.1-10 Matthew 5.13-16 Matthew 22.35-44 Mark 10.6-9 John 2.1-11 John 15.1-17 See also passages such as 1 John 4.7-12 and Revelation 19.1, 5-9. Again, this list does not pretend to be exhaustive! Back to beginning of wedding section
Part of your time consulting with the minister in preparing the wedding service will be given to choosing hymns. An important criteria is always “singability”—keeping in mind that your guests may not be familiar with some of the standard church hymns. Sometimes even Christians from different denominational traditions discover that they don’t know the same hymns! This list of fairly standard hymns, selected from the URC hymn book, Rejoice and Sing, helps you get started. It does not pretend to be exhaustive. Additional choices may be made in consultation with the minister and the church organist. Hymns appropriate for the opening hymn of praise: 41 For the beauty of the earth Hymns appropriate to follow declaration of intent or the vows 489 Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart Hymns appropriate to follow sermon or presentation of the wedding party 466 As man and woman we were made Hymns appropriate for ending the service 471 Bless, and keep us, Lord, in your love united Back to beginning of wedding section
By law the marriage vows all begin with designated words. Otherwise, the couple should feel free to choose the form of vows they will ay to one another, to mix and match, modify or write their own from scratch. It is important that the same form of the vow is used by both bride and bridegroom. One can’t promise to love and the other promise to obey! 1. I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, ________, do take thee __________, to be my lawful wedded wife/husband. I promise to respect you and be respected by you, to forgive you and to be able to receive your forgiveness, to instill hope in you and to share the hope you give to me. I promise to respect the unique mystery of who you are as we grow together and make a life together. 2. I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, ________, do take thee __________, to be my lawful wedded wife/husband, and to stand by you through sorry and happiness, through adversity and joy, and to help you in your live and in our life together through patient, supportive love and understanding. 3. I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, ________, do take thee __________, to be my lawful wedded wife/husband, and I promise to be your faithful husband/wife, to share all of life with you, its responsibilities and its freedoms, its tensions and trials, to cherish you and care for you, and with you to follow God’s leading, whatever happens, as long as we both shall live. 4. I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, ________, do take thee __________, to be my lawful wedded wife/husband. I will love you and cherish you, respect and honour you; I will live with you supporting you in good times and in bad; I will share your happiness as my own and comfort your sorrow as my own for all the days of our life. 5. I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, ________, do take thee __________, to be my lawful wedded wife/husband. I come to you with all my love. I offer my hand to you, as a pledge to stay with you no matter what shall happen to us. I promise to love you, cherish you, trust you and respect you. I promise to support you in your work and to help build a home together. I pledge my heart and soul to this journey we begin together this day. 6. I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, ________, do take thee __________, to be my lawful wedded wife/husband. And I promise before God and with his guidance to be your faithful husband/wife, to love you and to serve you as Christ has loved and served us, to share life and death with you, longing and fulfillment, joy and sorrow, rough times and times for celebration. Throughout our life, I promise nothing will stand in the way of my love for you and my support for the marriage we make today. Back to top Back to beginning of wedding section
Registering your marriage Before the wedding each party must attend a registry office in person to give notice of an intention to marry not less than fifteen full days and not more than a year before the wedding. Each party should do this at the registry office in his or her own district. One member of the couple needs to be a local Cardiff resident or have City Church as the usual place of worship. You need to bring to the registry office proof of your residence, your name, age and nationality. If you were previously married, you need to bring evidence of how that marriage ended, e.g., the decree absolute in case of a divorce or a death certificate in the case of a death. The fee is £30 each. Our local registry office is:
Permitted variations on legally required words for the vows: I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, ______, do take thee, _______, to be my lawful wedded wife/husband. or... I ________ take you ________ to be my wedded wife/husband. or.... I ________ take thee _______, to be my wedded wife/husband. Back to beginning of wedding section Permitted variations on declaratory words: I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, _____, may not be joined in matrimony to ________. or.... I declare that I know of no legal reason why I, ______, may not be joined in marriage to _______. or.... by replying 'I am' to the question, 'Are you, ______, free lawfully to marry _______? Back to beginning of wedding section
Please feel free to contact the church in the event of a death (Cardiff 2022 5190). But, just as importantly, you should feel free to contact the church just to talk about death and dying, before it happens; to talk about bereavement; about caring for frail, elderly people; about how to talk to children about death, and so on. Death is not only life's last great mystery--it is perhaps life's central mystery. No one should take the journey alone. You may wish to contact CRUSE bereavement counsellors (they use a counselling room at City Church): helpline 0845 758 5565, or the CRUSE Cardiff office on (029) 2022 6166. Whatever you are going through, the Samaritans will go through it with you. Contact their helpline on 0845 790 0909, or Cardiff Samaritans on (029) 2034 4022. In preparing for death, you may wish in addition to look at the Web site of the Natural Death Society.
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